AnnieLiu14's SubProfile Site
annieliu14
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit annieliu14's Xanga Site!

Interests: Guitar, Jembe, Snowboarding, Rockclimbing & Bouldering, Photography, Cardmaking, Scrapbooking, Stamping, Reading
Occupation: Student


Message: message me


Member Since: 5/6/2003

SubscriptionsSites I Read
crazybear7
deNigiRL
dru238k
i_ish
Kelshi
whitefire9189

Groups Blogrings
UC Santa Cruz IV Sluggers
previous - random - next

PESI Alums
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Monday, December 11, 2006

What are the difference between a non-Christian and a Christian? Their values and choices in life. There so many things I just can’t explain why I feel this way or would make these kind of decisions but I guess its just because I know and am reminded of God’s great love for us and the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus Christ on the cross for our sins. He did it all for us, even though we don’t deserve it, He chose us. He gave up all for us, so that we could enjoy our lives. God didn’t do this to bring more attention to Himself but His focus was on us, so that we wouldn’t live in bondage but instead live a life of freedom and being able to be drawn into His presence.
Why do I bring all of this up? Just a few moments ago, I had a conversation with my father about certain issues dealing with my values and the decisions that I would make under specific situations. It all started with a Chinese news report showing a picture of factory workers in China. The sight of all those sewing machines and workers made me think of the horrible working conditions and the limited cents that they are paid for their labor. Its unjust circumstances such as these that make my heart ache and want to do something. So eventually this conversation led to that the correct response doesn’t necessarily mean boycotting the purchase of their products, instead this response can actually make matters worse. It can lead to their wages and conditions becoming worse off and lower than before. The government or the head of the company may sense these decreases in demand and feel pressured about the fact that they are loosing money and instead use any means possible to gain more money, not for their workers but for themselves. To do so, they may decrease pay, working conditions, food and heating, increase working hours and labor. In the end it doesn’t benefit anyone.
Also, it doesn’t benefit us to just to stop cold turkey in our purchases of basic needs of warmth and needs for survival. In a way, God blesses us with these goods, He doesn’t want us to suffer but wants us to decide whether we are to live this kind of simple and frugal lifestyle. Of course God is pleased when we exploit these goods that is given to us. He is not pleased when we are consumed with the worship of these idols and loving them more than His people and most important of all, the Lord our God and Savior. What is a valid response then? It is actually up to us to help those who are unable to help themselves. Its takes people who are willing to give up their time and efforts to help those who are in need. I think it takes people who are willing to go and step out of their comfort zones, to immerse themselves in these areas of need. We need people who are willing to devote time to educate the community and people who have the patience to communicate and help spread the word and knowledge about how this is not how life has to be. What they are experiencing is not the norm.
This is what I am passionate about. This is what I want to do. In a way, I know it is extremely difficult for me to just stop living such as comfortable life but through the past month and my experiment of living a frugal life, I have learned to appreciate so much more, treasuring everything that I have and have been blessed with. Through my devotional reading, God spoke to me through Philippians 3:7-12 which states, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead”. God also spoke to me from Philippians 4:12-13 which says, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength”. This is what I am striving for. This is the life that I want to live.
In the next topic of my conversation with my father, we started discussing about martyrs and what these are. Somehow this conversation lead into the example of a martyr being someone who chooses their faith over their own lives. We also talked about historical figures such as Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, and Jim Elliot and about the persecution of many Christians in that occurred in China. In the end, I ended up somehow giving my father the example of if it came down to a choice between his life or mine, I would choose him. Just like if it came down to denying my faith and be spared or loosing my life, I would still choose Him over myself. I don’t know why or what allows myself make such a decision. I think it may be the fact that even though God loves me unconditionally, I cannot continue to live knowing that I rejected someone to save myself. How will others see me? How can I show my face again? Even though I may be forgiven, I know in my heart that I was not faithful and treasure my life presently more than the rewards that I will receive in Heaven. This decision of choosing life makes it seem like I treasure life presently more than the being in the presence of God.
In continuation of this topic, I eventually gave the example of if it came down to choosing to spare the life of my own father and mother or mine, I admitted that I would choose theirs. My father didn’t believe it, in fact he told me he didn’t want me to make this kind of decision. Of course I could understand that this is what all parents would do but I cannot bring myself to be this kind of person whom chooses their own life over others. Even though my father has caused much pain in my life, I do care about him and I guess I can say, I do love him. I understand that he has struggles of his own and blind spots and weaknesses that cause him to react in ways that hurt us deeply. The tears I shed, the concerns that I have all are because I desire for him to understand. I desire to be loved by him. Sometimes what is frustrating is that I cannot share honestly and openly with him, and am forced to keep certain things to myself in fear of getting hurt by him. I wish that this was not the case but unfortunately it is. I wish he could see how much I care about him and that I do love him but not when he is abusive towards us and exerts this kind of pain upon us.
Further along, my father gave the example of how in the military many soldiers are tortured by the enemy, forced to renounce their country or forced to acknowledge the sovereignty of the country that they are fighting. My father asked me if by renouncing our country, are we doing the wrong thing? Also, he asked if we should forgive this person? My response was that we should forgive, and still continue to love this person, as Jesus loved all, everyone single sinner.
In all of this, I could not explain my response to my father, a non-believer in a way he would understand or even accept. There was so much I wanted to say but I knew that he was not ready to hear or even unwilling to listen to my reasoning for it. He was just unable to see how my devotion and love for God has impacted the rest of my life and my love for not only Him but also everyone else. All in all, my answer was simple, I was willing to loose my life knowing of what God’s great, unconditional love for me. No one says it better than Jim Elliot, "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose”.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I can't believe this happened! At school too! I never thought that I would have had this opportunity.

So here's what happened...

During my morning lecture in my environmental studies class, we were asked by the professor to form groups of 3 people and to share about a time where we had a profound impact or changed a situation on someone because of what we said, also to share about what we are thankful for and what we feel like our purpose on this earth was.

Amazing. I had the opporutnity to share my passions and what God has called me to do without using any Christianese or any unfamiliar technical language. I didn't even have to blurt that I'm a Christian. In fact, I'm not going to mention it if they don't ask. Also, I also had an opportunity to share with my classmates about my missions trip this past summer, they were all so impressed and excited to hear what I was doing. Of course I left out some details and made it appropriate for non-believers and didn't lie about anything. PESI trained us to have different stories ready, because we would have have to share with different interest groups. So yes, I was able to share my 1 minute testimony with my classmates.

Also, I'm beginning to really see how my faith and my life are NOT 2 separate things, in fact is is one thing, one life. Some of the things I learn in school apply and comply to God's word.


Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Just some thoughts recently..

Recently I've been feeling a bit depressed not really but a bit, feeling like I don't fit in at this church. I have no one to talk to and hangout with at church. All the college students and young adults leave right after service or dont come at all. I feel disconnected from them, like I don't fit it. I feel like they always see me as a "goody-goody", someone who is all gung-ho about church and they don't want to hangout with me or include me in their activities b/c I have to ask my parents first or I have church ministry stuff to attend to. I feel like I'm being pulled in 2 directions, choosing between them and God. But then I do long for people to hangout with and talk to at church, someone my around my own age. I always get stuck with the married people or just fooling around with the youth which is so much fun, I can't complain. Otherwise, I just feel so bored at times.

I don't want to give up serving in church or pursuing after God to be able to be accepted by others. And again, I don't want to work to please man and people by doing the wrong things just to be able to fit in. But you know what, its quite depressing at times. I fit in and connect so well with my missions team and they're all passionate about the same things as I am but with some people at church, its just not the same. I'm not saying I don't care about the people here, I do!

Its just I dont really know what to do in this situation. Praying about it only brings up the thought, being a fool for God, being hated by people, being mocked and ridculed by people for your faith. But overall, I still feel God is saying to me, Is my acceptance by others more valuable than God and pursing after Him.

What am I to do? Prayers and encouragement appreciated.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

What's Your Response? Are You a Narnian?

Selections from this article... "August 28, 2006
Fox News Journalists Free After Declaring Conversion
By STEVEN ERLANGER
New York Times

JERUSALEM, Aug. 27 — Two journalists kidnapped in Gaza were released unharmed on Sunday after being forced at gunpoint to say on a videotape that they had converted to Islam. The two journalists for Fox News — Steve Centanni, 60, an American correspondent, and Olaf Wiig, 36, a freelance cameraman from New Zealand — were held for 13 days in an abandoned garage in the Gaza Strip as hostages of a previously unknown group calling itself the Holy Jihad Brigades. “I’m really fine, healthy in good shape and so happy to be free,” Mr. Centanni told Fox News. He said the two had been forced at gunpoint to say that they were converting to Islam and had taken Muslim names. “I have the highest respect for Islam,” he said. “But it was something we felt we had to do because they had the guns, and we didn’t know what the hell was going on.” Earlier on Sunday, their captors delivered a video showing the two men in Arab robes reading from the Koran to indicate their conversion. Mr. Centanni told his network that he and Mr. Wiig had been blindfolded, handcuffed and taken to the abandoned garage with a generator. “I was thinking, ‘Oh God, O.K., so a remote warehouse with a big noisy generator. I’m toast,’ ” Mr. Centanni said. “They could simply shoot me in the head, and no one would hear it.” He said he and Mr. Wiig had been forced to make videotapes denouncing American policies as well as saying they had converted to Islam"

So what is my take on all of this??

Last night I had a conversation with my dad about this. He said, that if God was real, He would forgive me for renouncing my faith and saving my life if it came down to choosing between life or death. I thought long and hard about my response. As of now I still feel that I cannot and will not renounce my faith and devotion and love for God. I know for a fact that in order to be a follower of Jesus, I must be willing to take up my cross and be willing to lay down my life for Him. In everything that I do, how can I even think about turning my back on the one who loves me so much, so much to be willing to die for me. Even though there is a possiblity that God may forgive me, but I still feel in my heart that is wrong, what kind of example am I setting. How can I act in a manner that is against what Jesus is teaching. Jesus calls for us to be the salt and light of this world but if I set an example that my life is more valuable and I can just renounce lie to get my way and live my life based upon my own desires.

I see it as this, lets put your own father or loved one in this situation. You can either deny that you know him and have any relation to him and save your own life or risked being martyred. What would you choose? You love that person so much and care about them so much that you know the right decision to make. You put their lives before your own.

Even in China, all of us had to take a risk whenever we were asked if we were a Christian. What would we say? Yes or no? All of said Yes. Through our actions and lifesytle we reached out to others and shared with them. Even when government officals asked us this question, what would we say? Would we lie and say no out of fear of what they could do to us? We weren't doing anything wrong, we were there legally. In fact, it would be a lie if we did say no. They were all testing us, a test of our faith. All of the government officials already knew we were Christians. How would it have looked if we said no. What kind of an example would I be setting?

Even though my own dad still will not understand this decision that I would make. I will continue to pray that one day he will. In the meantime, I hope that God will strengthen my reponse to the question, Will you be willing to lay down your life and die for My Name?


So recently, I've been starting up practicing the discipline of petty prayers. What is the the result? Answers in less than a day! Excitement! and Passion for the Word! Good Discipline, Positive Attitudes and just intentional living all the way!

What have I been praying? How have I been praying? Its not some magic formula, its not some special words, its just laying my life over to God. Just believing in Him and trusting that He will answer me, Expecting the unexpected each day of my life.
All I've been doing is just each morning when I get up, I spend maybe a minute or two thanking God for the day and asking Him to just bless me, on the drive to work, I spend about 3 minutes just asking God to just allow to me to expect the unexpected, I tell Him to take control, to surpise me and to just allow me to experience His fruitfulness in everything I do, even the boring tasks. I ask him to just allow me to be a blessing to others. Coming home from work, on the drive as well, I thank God for the wonderful day, and pray the same things, that He will bless me at home, and allow me to have a good time of rest and fruitful conversations with my family. All in all, I just ask God for excitement and it has been given to me.

So far, I have such a hunger to study the bible, I really want to know more and study more! So far, reading the book Reading the bible for all its worth has been so rewarding. Learning the difference between a letter and an epistle and learning about how to read a letter, its structure and how to distiguish whether it is a true letter or not. I'm having so much fun!



Next 5 >>